Sharing stories in Playback Theatre

Playback Mirror Series by Jibrael Jos 

So what really happens when we see our stories played back:

To start with nothing is real. We share our stories from our forgetful and biased mind. We tell the story unsuccessfully to a conductor who may not truly understand, actors who see the story from their clouded lenses. Yet when it is played back with honesty and creativity, our memories seem to come alive and we see the story in ways that we didn’t see, we relive moments with a changed perspective. We may cringe, we may cry, we may rise, we may die but as we are emotionally tossed around in the broth of our making, artistry of the actors and empathy of the universe. For a moment something dies yet we feel truly alive, vulnerable yet safe, silent yet heard.

Therapeutic I was told it was but was it. Do I feel healed every time I share or watch a story come alive during a playback session. I can count numerous instances where sharing has been very useful to me. Was it the ritual or the emotional connect. Maybe it all was a placebo effect, my faith in playback. Maybe there is psychology and science to it.

At which point did this particular story surface, was it triggered by previous story. Was it a pre-planned story or a spur of the moment decisions? Was it the ambience of the space, state of my mind, trust in the actors, need in my life. The sub conscious is not really understood. There have been times I planned to tell a story when I raised my hand and changed my mind as I sat on the chair. Universe conspires and then we think we made a decision.

Let me share some instances, there was this underlying theme in my life that I am a victim. Each time I shared a story in that vulnerable area, I felt healed. Yet only to see myself once again wallow in self pity. I have felt myself peeling layers hoping to get better, only to realize there are more vitriolic layers that need my attention.

Another area where I have got a lot of insights is my parenting, the number of times I have realized that I haven’t expressed love or been understanding as I should have. When I see some of the stories played back I suddenly wonder what were my children going through in the story, what was their state of mind. I have felt urges to do something special for my children or maybe just pushes to stop being a lazy father.

The third area has been in my field of teaching. I feel I have become more appreciative to the perspective of the youth. Or the least realizing that I truly do not understand the challenges the youth are going through on a day to day basis. Perceiving more than judging, listening to their stories rather than being stuck in my bubble. Open to connection, ready to change, think on my feet, dance in my mind.

So what really happens when we see our stories played back, well a lot and it starts much before and last a lot longer.